No-Bake Fake Twinkies

Method

1. I

   Thoroughly cream lard and sugar.

2. II

   Use this mixture to fill a pastry bag.

3. III

   Set aside.

4. IV

   Get a foam rubber seat cushion from your living room.

5. V

   Remove upholstery from seat cushion.

6. VI

   Cut the foam rubber into rectangular shapes, approximately 1 1/2" by 1 1/2 " by 4".

7. VII

   Fill your sink with hot soapy water, and wash the foam rubber pieces, rinsing carefully.

8. VIII

   Spread out on towel to dry thoroughly, turning after 1 day.

9. IX

   When thoroughly dry, plunge a hot knitting needle through the narrow end, and quickly remove.

10. X

    Repeat for each piece of foam rubber.

11. XI

    Fill the resulting tunnels using the pastry bag.

12. XII

    Serve on doily lined plastic plate.

13. XIII

    Don't throw anything at ThatBobbieGirl ;-).